The EmPath: Why we can not carry someone elses cross
My own shadow-aspect has been very much entangled with my empathic abilities and my love for humanity. As I can feel others imbalance and pain, I often tried to help them, out of a misunderstood longing for harmony and love. I want all people to be happy and joyful. Therefore I took their stuff onto me very often. Or allowed them to project their issues onto me. But it´s never been working out, as we can not carry others burdens and can not spare them their lessons, which they need to learn themselves.
Sometimes I see that others are not ready for their lesson and therefore stay silent when I should speak up. I know the other can not, or doesn´t want to, make the next step. As all resistance is causing pain, I see how the outcome will hurt them, so I tried to stay silent and help them carry their stuff. But truth can not be held back and being a martyr for love helps noone. When we carry other peoples cross, they do not evolve. And sooner or later the moment always came, when I realized my unhealthy behaviour and claimed they might take back their burden. Well, they´ve never been thankful, but instead blaming me for hurting them and accused me to create their cross. So whom did I help on the long run?
I had to realize that in most cases I agreed to help people that have almost no empathy and therefore compassion at all. As the empath is representing one extreme side of a dualistic game, he attracts the other extreme, people that have narcissistic tendencies. They want others to take the hardship onto them, while they might use the high-horse. We serve noone as long as we do that and agree to play this game of duality. They need their own cross to evolve and we, as the empaths, should care for our own stuff and make ourselves happy, not others. No matter if you are more on the empathic or narcissistic side of the equation, both have the same lesson to learn: self-love.
Noone can do that for us. So love yourself. No matter who you are or where you are on your path, love is the only question, option and answer.